Who is Ariel Pink?

This post comes to you from deep inside the world of interlocking indie-music blog discourse so obscure and self-referential it makes me want to take a nap. To understand why this matters (to some people) you really should read this and probably this. Warning: There is no chance you will then want to buy the album under discussion. (Decibel Tolls/Hipster Runoff)

Ariel Pink is visionary. Because it has been a tumultuous journey for this fact to be recognized, I’ve gotta call shenanigans on 75% of the music writers out there. Hipster Runoff’s Carles recently posed the question of whether Ariel Pink was the next Animal Collective or whatever, dubbing him “the great lo-fi hope.” And since it’s Carles, the observer effect kicks in, the gears of the PR machine will start turning, and Ariel Pink will fulfill the prophecy of becoming the next blue chip act. I truly detest labeling something as the “next” anything – just let dudes make their music. That’s not my beef, though. When Ariel Pink was opening for Animal Collective back in 2005, people were way bummed on it. I heard a couple of boos from the show I saw. Pitchfork consistently kept him in the lukewarm 5 – 6 metric range during their mid-decade obsession with dance punk. And now that Ariel Pink is en vogue, bloggers and music writers are going to praise this as the second coming. Five bucks says Pitchfork will put Before Today somewhere between an 8 and Radiohead. And the subject of booing during his opening set for Animal Collective is now poised to be “the next Animal Collective.” You dumb fickle motherfuckers. Hate all ya’ll. But I digress. Positive vibes from here on out.