There's barely a moment in Valentine's Day that doesn't feel forced; Garry Marshall's huge-cast comedy celebrates the consumerist rituals of February 14th (flowers, dinner, chocolate) while barely stopping to consider the people who in the film's view need those rituals to give their personal lives meaning. If the movie had a few less characters there might be some room to examine the plight of the Romantic Guy Who Proposes Too Soon (genial Ashton Kutcher) or Woman Who May Actually Love Her Best Friend (Jennifer Garner, one of the few who shines through a thin role). There's just too much fluff; a swooning child lifted straight from Love Actually and Jessica Biel working very hard to look ditsy. There's a brief exchange between Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner as high school sweethearts that's more relaxed and charming than anything else in the movie; by contrast the performance of Julia Roberts as a soldier (you read that right) returning home on Valentine's Day feels like an obligatory nod towards Supporting Our Troops. This Valentine's Day is almost entirely white (Thanks for stopping by Jamie Foxx and Queen Latifah!), straight, and sensitive; the tone of well-meaning sincerity never lets up. The day deserves a great romantic comedy, but Valentine's Day is the first date you'll wish you'd bailed on.
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